OH HAI GAIZ! DID YOU MISS ME???

*someone breaks me fingers again so I can't type therefore cannot say anything on the internet*

...Guess not. But because I have magical cat powers given to me by the Mighty Ceiling Cat, I have healed my broken fingers and can now type. MWAHAHAHHAHHHAHAHHA!! But I must beware of....The Evil One...

*Basement Cat stares at me from below.....*

Anyway. On with the program.

You know what I hate about older drawings? Is that, when you first finish them, you really think they are the bees knees. Like, you think they look really great, and you are proud of your accomplishments.

Then, a few months later, like, oh, say, NOW, you look at them and you are like DAFUQ????? You point out all the things that you think look truly throwupable, and can't even remember why you liked the stupid drawing in the first place. Such a thing happened to me today, whilst looking at this picture.

You know what else I hate? HOW MY SCANNER EATS MY SOUL.

But you still kinda like it because the concept of the drawing is cute, and/or relates to your life. Somehow.

Anyway. So... Max likes his Mac. (Yes, HIS Mac. Aren't we all, really, owned by our cats? Like, they walk all over us...and like..on our keyboards and...magazines..and art supplies...and food......the list goes on.) He does, however, find him to be a bit of a doorknob (join the long list of others who think this too, Max.) and he finds it irritating that Mac doesn't do everything Max wants him to do (like, pet him at exactly 3pm, feed him every 2 hours, introduce him to the cute pussy cat next door.....). Because when Mac isn't around doing the things that Max wants him to, he must rely on The Other One, AKA Ricky, but he's always fornicating with The Bitchy One (Clarice) or doing something else as equally vile (i.e fornicating with some other individual.)...And when The Other One isn't around, then he must rely on The Fat One (aka Pudgy, Ricky's pet pug.).

Really, I don't know why Max just doesn't do things for himself.

Max: Because I don't have opposable thumbs. *wiggles paws.*

Ah. Right.

Anyway. So he we capture a moment of once again, Max trying to get Mac's attention, while Mac is passed out on some....demented looking couch (YES THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A COUCH AND NOT A GIANT PILE OF FECES.), because Mac once again had a late night and the 8 or so Red Bulls and 10 cups of coffee must have worn off.

Now, most cats would be able to simply jump up, but Max is too fat and can't jump up properly. So he just dangles hopelessly on the edge of the couch, and he'll probably rip up the fabric with his claws all while Mac is still passed out. Mac will then wake up and be all like..."DAFUQ???" Or something.

Okay. So looking back at this drawing now, I realize it's pretty shitacular, and theres a lot of problems anatomically with it. I realize that that ottoman there that Mac's legs/foot/whatever appendage thats supposed to be looks like a prop from Power Rangers and looks cheesy and awful as all hell, but DAMMIT I tried. XD This is actually quite an old picture, so I supposed it's forgiven because it IS old, right?

Mac MIGHT just want to see someone about the position of his foot.... I mean...DAMN. Either he's able to dislocate his bones, or...well, he had ONE helluva night and completely twisted and mauled his foot up. (Why doesn't that surprise me? I'm sure he probably has Ricky's name tattooed on his ass somewhere too.) I was trying to make it face you, the audience, but.....




HERE COMES THE FAILLLLLBOATTTTT!! *TOOT TOOT!!!*


Bah. It's old. Forgive it. We'll just..ram that foot back in place. I guess it's really not that bad of a drawing, but I just always have issues with my old drawings. The floor and the wall look all messed up too. Whoever layed down that hardwood floor should be fired. (Perhaps another drunken party night task Mac and his friends have done? Who knows with them.)

And yes, ladies, I know you find Mac a hot piece of ass RIGHT THAR, what with his drool coming out of his mouth and soon to trickle down his chest...

HEEEE'SSSS SINGGGGLLLEE LADDIIIESSS!!

Oh come on. We all look like a mess when we sleep. You should see ME in the morning.

K NO THANX, says the audience.

And...wow. Mac's colla' isn't popped. I'm surprised.

Anyway. So I try to always make Mac's furniture all match and stuff, because he and Ricky are LIKE RIDICULOUSLY ANAL about matching and, Mac is RIDICULOUSLY anal about cleanliness and neat and orderly things. It's one of his annoying ticks. So...all of thier furniture and the like always match, or are colour cooridinated. They're FABBBBULLLLLOUUUUSSS!

Poor Max. I hope someone saves him! Shoulda drawn Mac bigger...I was you know, trying to do proportions and stuff, and have his foot COMING RIGHT AT YOU, but you know, I really fail, and thus when I draw things, they tend to fail too. God I hope 2012 Jess can draw better then 2011 Jess 0.0

And you know what else? The picture looks WORSE because of my @#$!#$!$!$!$!$@# scanner. Seriously, the colours just scanned miserably on this. I think you probably figured that out - I certainly hope you all realize that my scanner makes all of my pictures look miserable. The brown on his couch looks...well looks like shit, and well, everything else looks like shit, so once again my scanner has a diarrhea attack on my drawing. Thanks scanner. I'm glad you can use my drawings for your personal Port-O-Pottie.

So yes. Not a brilliant picture, but the concept is cute anyway. Perhaps I shall redraw it. And perhaps Max should go on Kitty Weight Watchers so he can actually make it onto the couch without huffing and puffing. Stop feeding your cat cheezburgers, Mac. Or take him for a walk or something.

(That would be adorable, wouldn't it? Don't know why Mac hasn't thought of walking Max before. InstaChickmagnet. Or, he's tried that already and it didn't go so well.....<--probably the scenario. I'll let you come to the conclusions as to what happened.)

Anyway, just Max trying to get Mac's attention. Good luck, Kitteh.

(If he does make it up on the couch, Max will proceed to jump in rapid succession on Mac and go MEOWMEOWMEOWMEOW MEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOW MEOWMEOW!! over and over again. I find it funny that Max can jump in rapid succession on Mac to annoy the snot out of him, however, he cannot jump up on the couch. Cats really are interesting creatures.)

I have to pee. /random.

So Mac and Max here are © to The Fail One. (AKA Jess Ratte XD)